While we hope our guide has given you tips on how to identify manipulation and has made you more confident, there are many resources out there that could be useful to you. We have compiled a few that are particularly relevant and helpful below. This is a work in progress and we will be updating it. This is why you will find many of the links are relevant only for the UK as most of the volunteers who worked on this guide are based in UK.


To have a safe space to talk to strangers about your relationship: 7 Cups of tea [global]
In the UK, there are many options:
  • Women’s Aid 0808 2000 247 (Freephone 24hr National Domestic Violence Helpline run in partnership with Refuge)
  • Samaritans - Telephone: 116 123
  • Refuge
  • The UK Children’s Charity: NSPCC 0808 800 5000
  • Childline a free, private and confidential service if you are 18 or under in the UK - 0800 1111
If you’re in Pakistan, India or Italy, check our project sites to find out what help is available: Chayn Pakistan, Chayn India & Chayn Italia

Spotting the signs

Preparing to leave an abusive relationship

  • Leaving an abusive relationship - read one woman’s story here
  • Making a safety plan in preparation of leaving an abusive relationship is here
  • Creating boundaries and sticking to them - read more here and here
  • Communications tips and techniques to remind yourself it’s not you can be found here

The law

It is encouraging to see many countries are taking important steps to include emotional abuse in existing legislation as well as introducing new legislation on domestic abuse. One such case is the UK.
The UK Government has published a Statutory Guidance Framework on Controlling and Coercive Behaviour in an Intimate or Family Relationship here. This created a new offence of controlling or coercive behaviour.
Remember,manipulation and coercive control - that is the use of force or intimidation to obtain compliance - is illegal in England and Scotland. New powers will target perpetrators who subject spouses, partners and other family members to serious psychological and emotional torment, but stop short of violence.