Supporting Statements

TEMPLATE FOR COVER LETTER FOR SUPPORTING STATEMENTS

Full Name	Date of Birth	Address	Relationship to you	Any other short detail you feel necessary
name	DoB	number, street, city	E.g., neighbour	anything else

TEMPLATE FOR PERSONAL STATEMENT

This template has two components (1) Guidance (2) Example.

All paragraphs in the personal statement are numbered so you can refer to paragraphs rather than saying third paragraph on page X.

If you can remember the dates of different events exactly, please include them. However, if you only remember the year or the month, it is also ok. Try to be as specific as you can, but remember - the events matter even if you don’t remember the exact date when they happened!

PERSONAL STATEMENT

Your Name Date

1. Use this paragraph to disclose PERSONAL DETAILS.

My full name is [YOUR NAME (INSERT MAIDEN NAME)] and my date of birth is [INSERT DOB]. I am of [X] nationality. I was born in [CITY], [COUNTRY] And I currently reside at [FULL ADDRESS]. I have [SIBLINGS]: NAME OF SIBLINGS. I have [INSERT DETAIL OF CHILDREN IF ANY] My mum, [INSERT NAME], was a [INSERT OCCUPATION] and my dad, [INSERT NAME], worked as a [INSERT OCCUPATION]. My parents live in [FULL ADDRESS]. My siblings live in [FULL ADDRESS]

2. This paragraph is for explaining the REASON FOR CLAIM.

3. Explain the HISTORY OF THE RELATIONSHIP OF ABUSE in this paragraph. When did the marriage take place? Where? With Whom? Was it of your own choice? When you were born (if parents are abusers)?

“I got married to her when I was 21. I had been in a series of unsuccessful relationships in my late teens. My first serious relationship (June -Dec 2007) ended abruptly as I caught my partner sleeping with my best friend. My next relationship (March - Nov 2008) ended because my partner was distant and showed no interest in what I liked. I met M when I was 20. Some of my friends were settled in long-term relationships and I craved companionship. My friend, S, who also took Spanish classes in the evening with me said she would set me up with a girl she lives with (M). I had only known S for a few months (Jan - July 2009) but thought it was worth meeting M. M and I had our first date in a restaurant and found we both liked the same movies and foods. I was relieved to meet a woman who was caring and seemed loyal, with quite a strong personality - but I didn’t mind. At that time, it was nice to be with someone who was not afraid to commit and gave me time. Little did I know that she was going to turn out to be an abuser who caused me pain, depression and led me to consider killing myself.”

4. FIRST INSTANCE OF ABUSE /s from here. Put these in chronological order and break these into numbered paragraphs. Include one major event per paragraph and as many details as you can remember and cite evidence attached if any of it corroborates what you say.

“The first signs of abuse began shortly after we got married. He was very demanding, got angry very easily, and constantly made me feel guilty about not giving him enough attention, or not being a good wife. No matter how hard I tried to fulfil all his wishes, he would always find a way to complain and make me feel bad about myself. Sometimes he would call me lazy, useless. Once, after I came back home after meeting a friend, he called me a whore. A few days after the wedding, we were getting ready to go out with his parents. As I was getting dressed, my mother-in-law walked into the room and told me to wear a dress she liked. As we were already late, I told her I would wear it another day. My mother in-law shot a look at my husband and walked out. I said I was sorry, but he called me ‘an ungrateful, ill-mannered bitch’ and told me to get changed, raising his hand in anger. I cowered. I was in shock. I changed into the other dress and thought this was due to the pressure of new marriage. I didn’t tell anyone about it. I suppressed my tears. The next week, he cursed me again and then afterwards, the mental torture and physical abuse became routine.The first weeks after the marriage were suffocating - I was feeling worthless, depressed and I was being constantly degraded. At the time, I did not realise that the verbal aggression and possessiveness were signs of abuse. With time, he also started using physical abuse - first he pushed me away when I was trying to set the table for dinner, criticising me and calling a useless bitch. Sometimes he would slap me when he got angry. Over the weeks, and later months, the beatings got more severe and often I had to stay home to disguise the bruises.”

5. FIRST TIME YOU DISCLOSED THE ABUSE TO SOMEBODY

“One night in summer 2014, it could have been the last weeks of June, after my husband got home from work, he started getting very angry on little things. He was not happy that I was speaking to my mother when he walked in. I told him I take a lot of his misbehaviour but he had no right to control when I spoke to my mother. He got really angry at this and threw a glass at me. He called many abusive names and also called my parents abuses like “prostitute, cunt, bastard”. I started crying so he took me by my hair - and dragged me on the floor. He ripped my shirt open and banged my head against the floor. My head started bleeding so I tried to resist and pushed him back. He punched me in my face and kicked until I stopped fighting. He left the house, locking me in and told me he would kill me if I called the police. That night, I felt he was going to kill me so I called my mother. She was shocked at this. She asked me why I had not told her this before. I told her that she had told me before I got married that it is my duty to make the marriage work and if I complained about things not working out, people would say ‘her mother had not taught her how to be a good wife’. My mother told me ‘to be patient and pray to God. He will make things work. Whatever is in your fate will happen.’ I pleaded with her to get me out but she simply told me to accept my fate.”

6. FIRST TIME ASKING FOR HELP

7. DESCRIPTION OF EVERYDAY LIFE

“We moved to a new flat in January 2013 and I was beaten every other day by my brothers and parents. Every time I tried to convince my parents to let me go to university, they would punch me, pinch me and lock me up. My mother slapped me often and my father would usually punch me or shout at me, threatening to break my legs. There is an audio file [Evidence 12] that shows such an incident. My younger brother is particularly abusive. He will do little things to get me into trouble. He would claim I’m trying to escape through the window and then scream to call my parents when I would be just watching the TV. He verbally abused me constantly. I had no confidence and had no ability to help myself. The only thing I could do is cry. I often felt so depressed that I could not even will myself to get dressed. My parents told me that, “you are a problem and a nuisance for us and until we get you married off, you’re going to do whatever we say, whatever we do”. There was no escape from the hell. I had no access to keys so I could not leave the flat. They would go out for dinners but lock me in. I had to beg for even the basic things - like watching tv, using internet or going for walk on the balcony.”

8. THE TURNING POINT – DECIDE TO LEAVE

9. AFTER LEAVING (if you have left)

“After I left him (18/12/2010), he started sending me abusive and threatening messages. He said he would ‘find you and break your legs’ and ‘I’ll tell the whole world you were cheating on me so nobody will respect your parents. I will turn your own family against you, bitch. Just wait and watch!’. I used to receive about 5 or 10 every day and got about 100 calls. I’m attaching the screenshot of my phone (Evidence 55) and some of those text messages (Evidence 66-72) I received. I thought it was going to end at that but two days after I left, he set up a facebook page titled “Find Zara”. He invited all my friends and worse, family to ‘like’ the page (Evidence 22). He posted lies about me, saying that I was with him just for money and that I had found a richer boyfriend who I had run away with. I was horrified as my whole family could see this and in my town, these slanderous allegations cause women their lives. I am attaching screenshots of the facebook page and some of the statuses as Evidence 34. All my relatives started talking about me as an ‘unclean’ girl and my parents were ashamed. They dejected me. They started threatening me with text messages and told me that I must go back to my abusive husband or they will call the police. I am attaching the recording of a phone call and transcript in this folder which shows my family’s attitude towards me (Evidence 9).”

TEMPLATE FOR SUPPORTING STATEMENT

This template is for the person who will be writing the statement e.g your friends, family or any professionals you are in touch with. Send this to them to help them write the statement.

OPENING PARAGRAPH: certify the truthfulness of the statement and give the details of yourself.

I, [NAME OF THE PERSON], attest that everything said in this statement is true to the best of my knowledge. My name is [YOUR NAME], I was born on [DATE OF BIRTH OF THE PERSON] in [PLACE OF BIRTH – COUNTRY AND CITY] and am currently living at [FULL ADDRESS]. I am also [GIVE ANY OTHER DETAILS ABOUT YOUR STATUS: are you married, have children, emigrated, are a permanent resident somewhere, student, working etc.]

SECOND PARAGRAPH: explain why you are making the statement

1. How are the both of you related?:

“[NAME] is my sister, but after I left home to go to university we have lost touch. I have only heard from her sporadically and saw her when I visited my family.”

or

“[NAME] has been my best friend since childhood and we have always shared everything with each other. Even though after getting married she drifted away, I could observe the change the relationship caused in her and the suffering she has gone through”

or

“[NAME] has been working for me between [PERIOD YOU WORKED WITH THEM]. She has been a good and reliable employee. Although we did not have a close personal relationship, I could observe the impact the relationship with [NAME OF ABUSER] had on her/him.”

2. What do you know about the abusive relationship and what is your opinion of it?

“I was appalled that [NAME] got married so young to an older man. His family was very hostile to her and it was clear to me that her parents were forcing her into marriage.”

or

“I could observe the change in [NAME] since she entered the relationship with [NAME OF ABUSER]. Although she was infatuated at first, it was clearly visible that he was limiting her freedom and had a tendency to act violently”

or

“Although I was not aware of the exact details of [NAME’s] relationship, on the several occasions I have met [NAME OF ABUSER], it was evident that she was threatened by him. I was also aware that her freedom, even to work after hours, is very constrained by [NAME OF ABUSER].”

3. What was the first time you heard about the abuse and how. Don't forget to add important details such as the date or approximate date and time, where it happened, who was around and other similar details to give context.

“I saw [NAME] the day after her wedding [DATE]. She came to my house at [FULL ADDRESS] for lunch at about [APPROXIMATE TIME]. and she told me that her husband had raped her. Being very young, she didn’t want to get pregnant, but her husband threatened her against using contraception”

or

“A few months after she got married, I met with [NAME] and I could see bruises on her arms. When I asked her about it she initially said it was nothing serious, but finally admitted that her husband was beating her and refusing to let her go out and see her friends”

or

“After [NAME] got married to [NAME OF ABUSER] she became distracted at work. I also could see bruises and signs of injuries on her. She started skipping days of work, and eventually stopped appearing. Since she was a good employee, I contacted her friend [NAME OF THE FRIEND], who told me that she is being abused by [NAME OF ABUSER]”

THIRD PARAGRAPH: timeline of the events related to the abuse: it is important to describe the relationship as well as the impact it had on your friend and the steps that led them to take action against perpetrator *Wherever possible, include exact dates of events.

“Over the months, I began talking to [NAME] more and found out more about the abusive nature of her relationship. [NAME OF ABUSER] forbade her to leave the house and meet her friends, forced her to quit her job and beat her whenever she refused to follow his orders. I could see her transform from a strong, happy person to a constantly scared, extremely unconfident and fragile wreck of herself. When she became pregnant, she was terrified. That’s when I decided to help her escape the relationship and [TYPE OF LEGAL ACTION YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT: APPLY FOR ASYLUM/FILE FOR A DIVORCE/INITIATE CRIMINAL PROCEEDINGS].”

THEN INCLUDE A DETAILED DESCRIPTIONS OF ALL STAGES OF THE ABUSE STEPS THEY HAVE TAKEN THAT YOU ARE AWARE OF AND ABUSERS OR YOUR FAMILY’S RESPONSE TO IT

• How did your involvement in the situation develop? Did you witness some of the abuse? Did you help with any actions?

• What were the exact events (and dates) you witnessed? Seeing bruises? Overhearing an argument? Witnessing the abuse?

• Did you observe (1) the impact the abuse had (change in behaviour/character); (2) the family’s/the abuser’s family’s response to the abuse?

• Also include all other experiences you had with the abuser: had he harassed you/tried to threaten you when he realized you were helping your friend?

FINAL PARAGRAPH: why are you supporting them and why do they think this action (getting the divorce/asylum/criminal conviction/child custody) is important for them?

Reiterate above points, stressing on their impact on your friend.

“[NAME OF THE ABUSER] is an abuser. He repeatedly raped, hit and emotionally abused [NAME]. He also harassed me and tried to threaten me when he found out I was talking to [NAME] about the abuse. [NAME] was deprived of her own freedom, forced to follow his will and blamed for everything. [ABUSER’S NAME] family also blamed her for the situation, saying she was being a bad wife and bringing such treatment upon herself. They treated her like their property, an object. Over time, the abuse has become worse, and [NAME] fears for her life if she stays in [THE MARRIAGE/THE COUNTRY/BOTH]. Having seen her change through this relationship, and witnessing evidence of what was being done to her, I fear for her life too, which is why I [RESTATE WHAT IS BEING CLAIMED/ASKED FOR].”